a burgundy zine

A Reflection by Sorayah

By: Sorayah

“resolutions”
Photo courtesy of Sorayah

Source: A Reflection | The Girl in All Leopard

Sorayah of The Girl in All Leopard shares with us a reflection upon growing out of the party scene and coming of age at your own pace.

In today’s society, age doesn’t mean anything but a number – and I’m not talking about dating.

I’m talking about actually starting your life. The “real purpose” of what life is supposed to be. Whether that’s getting married and starting a family, getting your dream job, or simply moving out.

Age means nothing because everyone reaches their goals at their own pace.

Sorayah

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately; over the last couple of months, to be exact. I look at myself now compared to who I was over a year ago and I know I’m not the same. I’ve grown, I’ve matured, but most importantly, I learned more about myself. Getting my first big girl job definitely played a big roll in this. I needed this! My life needed some changing.

You see, I’m at the “age” where half of my friends are getting ready to get married and start a family, and well, the other half are worried about who’s going to meet them at the local bar down the street. For a very long time, that was also me. All I was worried about was going out with my friends and getting drunk.

Every. Single. Weekend.

Meet with the same people and go to the same bars. It was like a routine. It was all I knew since I turned 21 – but is this how I continued wanting to be known?

There has to be more to life than just getting drunk with people who couldn’t give a fuck less about me.

Sorayah

Let’s be honest, there are people you’re friends with and there are people you call to drink with. Let’s not confuse the two. 

Due to my excessive drinking, some “drinking pals” became good friends and some “friends” became drinking pals. Once I was able to remove myself from this environment, I was able to tell the difference. I may have known all along, but not going out to the local bars confirmed that right away.

Many of my friendships were built on drinking. It was a common interest we shared. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I have almost completely lost the interest in alcohol. I don’t find it fun anymore to hangout at a bar in The Region and go home smelling like cigarettes, or to even wake up with a horrible hangover that now lasts two full days.

Some people are just not meant to drink and I believe I’m one of them. I never grew up watching my parents drink or go to the bar so where did I get this idea from? That the only definition of “having fun” was getting drunk every weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy going out with my friends and drinking every now and then, but it’s nothing like before. I don’t find the desire to go out and drink any chance I have. It’s almost the opposite now.

I love having peace of mind knowing I won’t wake up sick to my stomach.

Sorayah

Slowly removing myself from the local bar scene is helping me grow into the person I want to be. It’s making me realize that I’ve spent too much time and money in something I’m not benefiting from in a positive way.

This then goes back to “age doesn’t mean anything but a number”

I just turned 26 a few months ago and I’m realizing that “partying” locally is not a healthy lifestyle for me. Meanwhile, I have friends who have realized this a long time ago for themselves. These friends have gone on with their lives. They’ve moved out. They’re starting families. They’re in careers they enjoy and are traveling. They’re meeting new people outside the Midwest and seeing more than just Kennedy Avenue and Indianapolis Blvd.

I might be getting a reality check now, but it’s never too late. Everyone has a different pace. Maybe to some of my friends this is what they wanted. Their objective was to start a family at an early age and get married young. Maybe moving out right away was important to them.

All that matters is that you reach your goal no matter how long it takes. I feel like I graduated college pretty late as is and I got my FIRST real job at 25. I practically never worked a day in my life before this. This is why I acted so childish. I had no responsibility, but this “big girl job” helped shaped me.

My career is everything to me. This is the most important aspect of my life. Everything else will fall into place after. As much as I would love to join my friends in the married with kids life soon, I just don’t see this for myself until my mid 30’s.

I believe in establishing my career and name first. I think I always knew I would be the last of my friends to get married or have kids (probably adopting), but I’m completely fine with this.

I’m okay with waiting until I’M ready, not because my friends are doing it and people my age.

Sorayah

Everyone has their own life goals they plan to reach. All that matters is you do what you need to, to reach those goals. It doesn’t matter how old you are either.

As long as you have the ambition, anything is possible.

Sorayah

Xox


Head on over to Sorayah’s blog to read more of her work!


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