February 17, 2020
Quit Being Stubborn: It’s Ruining Your Relationship by Deanna Jackson
Two donkeys peer over a wooden fenceSource: Pexels
My husband and I are both stubborn. We married young and it was hard. We fought more than I like to admit and neither one of us ever backed down from an argument. We were both always right and no one could tell us differently.
I know, easier said than done. I’m no expert on this subject, and I can only write from my experience. But I can almost guarantee if you try to be less stubborn, you’ll have a happier relationship.
Go to Counseling
The first thing I would’ve done year one of our marriage is go to couples counseling. Yes, everything is new and exciting, but it’s also hard. You’re living with a new person, adjusting to their quirks and routines. Throw in figuring out finances and there are bound to be some arguments.
If you didn’t argue over that stuff during your first year of marriage, kudos. I have no idea how you did it!
After years of being stubborn, my husband and I went, and it changed us for the better. He didn’t “believe” in the process or that a stranger could help us learn to communicate more effectively.
Now, he’ll be the first to admit he was wrong and recommends it to his guy friends who don’t “believe.”
Don’t Hide Your Finances
Most of us go into relationships with our own finances. You may have bought a car, got a credit card, whatever it may be. Either way, don’t be stubborn and act like it doesn’t exist.
My husband used to say, “I got this.” It drove me crazy and to be quite honest… No, he didn’t “have it.” Regardless, all he had to do was ask for my help to get things straightened out.
Obviously, I don’t mean on the first date, but if you see a future with that person you need to make sure you’re open. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even think to do that with my husband when we got engaged. I knew we had debt but didn’t know the specifics.
Carry this through your relationship. I shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t let Kohls or Best Buy talk you into a credit card to save 20 percent around Christmas. If that’s what you want to do, talk it over with your partner and agree as a couple.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
I hear this saying all the time and it took me years to actually listen to it. My husband was notorious for not putting his dirty clothes in the hamper. Every day there was another shirt on the bedroom floor. I used to walk past it and not pick it up. It was like I was saying, “If he won’t pick it up, neither will I. That will show him.”
Well, no it didn’t, and I was being stubborn.
All I can say to you is, just pick up the shirt. I know its annoying but it’s not worth it. It was one of his quirks.
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years and if that’s the only thing he does that annoys me, I would say I have me a winner!
I know there are a lot of other factors that go into having a happy relationship. If my suggestions help at least one couple, then my writing has done its job. Cheers!
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