July 16, 2020
Bug’s Philosophy: The Truth About Self Love
The truth about self loveSource: The Burgundy Zine
Self love and self care seem to be abundant in the air these days. Yet, they’re often polluted by a shroud of toxic positivity the trails behind them.
While optimism is central wellness, too much of that cream in your coffee will leave you wondering if you’re better off just drinking milk.
Although cynicism could be revered as the counter-culture to suffocating positivity, the two can exist in equilibrium.
In fact, self love thrives in a space of self acceptance. How are you expected to love every part of yourself if you’re unwilling to embrace all that comes with being you: the good and the bad?
Note: “Bug’s Philosophy” is an editorial series of free-writes pulled directly from the pocket-journals of editor Burgundy Bug and are expected to be regarded as they are in their rawest form: opinions based upon personal experiences, as opposed to her typical articles, which are meticulously laiden with hours of research.
I’m not discrediting the “THINK POSITIVE” messaging, but normalizing emotional suppression leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
It’s unhealthy to dwell on negative emotions, but it’s even more damaging to ignore them all together. That in and of itself is a form of emotional neglect.
Repressing your emotions doesn’t make them go away. Instead, you could find yourself victim to haunting, cyclic thoughts, a persistent sense of anxiety, and night terrors. Shutting off that part of yourself could also leave you wandering through a hazy, dissociative fugue that’s hard to see through.
Rather than shoving happiness down people’s throats as if it’s easy to cultivate as reposting a bubble-gum pink graphic on your page, we should encourage healthy emotional processing.
Pouring your heart out in a journal can instantly relieve a great weight from your shoulders. Your journals don’t have to be anything fancy, either. Simply grab a pen, a notebook, and emotionally vomit all over the page.
Communication is another important step for emotional processing. Talk your thoughts over with a loved one, your dog, a psychologist/psychiatrist, a priest, or perhaps a spiritual guide. Follow whichever route works best for you.
That’s another thing: you can ask for help! Professional help is incredibly restorative and a therapist can teach you healthy coping techniques that are easy to replicate at home.
If bubblegum pink graphics adorned in simple, positive messaging make you feel better, don’t be ashamed. You’re allowed to enjoy those, too!
But if you’re one to feel discouraged by the predominant messaging of self help books, don’t be. Self love can take months, even years to foster. It’s a journey, not a quick-fix.
And even then, it’s normal to have off moments or days. There’s no need to beat yourself up over not feeling 110 percent around the clock.
The darker side of self love, the elbow grease required to achieve it, is often left out of the discussion. Internet gurus and over-enthusiastic public speakers are all too quick to jump straight to the end result — because, well, that’s what sells books, tickets, and consultations.
Take what you see and what you hear with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, self love and self care are incredibly individualistic experiences. You, and only you, have the ability to culminate both for yourself.
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