Mirages

By: burgundy bug

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A lonely tree skeleton at Deadvlei near Sossusvlei, Namibia

Source: Envato Elements

at the height of my thirst, 
i tried to induce my own mirages, 
eyes closed, mind picture-laiden with oasis collages, 
at once, i sighed and sipped,
open-lipped, 
but i still felt defeated,

realized i’d never been depleted, 
this was not the work of dehydration, 

just over-obsessive fixation, 
fixated on the idea that i am but half a human, 
not a complete unit ’till in union,
compulsively looking to escape a looming fate, 

so naturally, your hands felt innate,

i threw myself into love unassuming, 
all-consuming, terror amusing, 
anxiety at bay, 
prior desires sailed away, 
mouth agape, i nose-dived into the lake, 
but i was still so thirsty,

and all though you’d never hurt me, 
you could say you love me 100 times over each day, 
but god forbid you slip just once, forget to look my way, 
confirmation bias kicks in blast, 
defensive standoff, i just won’t text you back,

when i cave, guilt flocks in droves, 
and i wonder why i sought solace in the tough girl trope.

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